Please help this guy o!

Joke of the day!

My Girlfriend told me after valentine that it's over between us, I thought about it and I found out that life without her is
meaningless. So, I decided to kill myself. I jumped from my reading table to my mouka foam, I didn't die. I went to an express road and looked carefully before crossing the road, nothing happened to me. I drank 4 bottles of lacasera with too much suya but nothing happened. I took a lot of mangoes without swallowing the seeds, yet I didn't see hell! I proceeded to another level. I prepared gizzard and kidney sauce with strawberry juice and lots of fresh tomatoes, yet nothing happened. I ate cake, chocolate mixed with ice cream, still I didn't die. I'm so worried now cause I Just finished eating
fried rice with chilled maltina and fresh fruit salad but nothing still happened to me. I'm really upset right now.
My friends, what do I do?
Should I try plantain and chicken with fresh milk. Will it work? Advice me please!
 
Please advice this young lad o!.......lolz